Body shaming, my story and how I'm coping with it

    Body Shaming is an act of abusing yourself or someone else, mentally or physically based on physical appearances.

                

Roots of Body shaming go deep down to one's childhood, it's sowed in our minds by the society at a very early age, we have been trained to think that there's a certain way that one has to look and which is tagged as perfect. It all starts from small comparisons in the family, humiliation within a group of friends or classmates, relatives calling you out for your eating habits to photoshopped public figures in magazines and media, these are some of the ways body shaming is cultivated. 

Girls are taught to be stick figured, fair skinned and soft spoken which apparently is the only way you're considered dainty and elegant whereas boys are taught to be bulky, muscular, tall, bearded, angry and adamant or else they are not "masculine" enough.

 

Body shaming widely ranges from feeling bad/making one feel bad about human characteristics like Acne, Dark skin, Stretch Marks, Vitiligo, Baldness, Cellulite, Scars, being too tall/too short or overweight/skinny and many other normal features that run in all age groups. It can adversely affect one's mental and physical health. One can go through serious emotional instability, asocial behavior, depression, anxiety which leads to self sabotaging behaviors, drugs and addictions as well as bad eating habits used as coping mechanisms or even suicidal thoughts and/or suicide. Problem is, you'll find alot of books/articles/videos and aunties suggesting you to get rid of these things. But no one really tells you that it's okay to have them and that no one's really perfect, some people are just good at hiding.

I've been there and can understand what one goes through. I was pretty 'skinny' until I had to eat out everyday from my school canteen because the school timings changed to early morning in secondary and my mother had a hard time preparing food that early while she was working 3 shifts being a staff nurse, as a result I started gaining weight. As quickly as I started to see changes in my body, my friends and family noticed them too. 

I would constantly get teased and bullied by my closest friends and get a million weight loss remedies from my neighbors and relatives. As a result I lost all my confidence within no time, I became extremely timid and conscious about the way I looked, I stopped participating in extracurricular activities, stopped going out with my friends, started staying at home and blamed myself for everything that was happening. All of this continued for a very long time. I started eating my feelings away mindlessly which only made things worse for me and under no time I developed a binge eating disorder. I was depressed all the time, I cut off everyone and was lonely to a point where I had anxiety and suicidal thoughts, I went through all of this at just the age of 12 and it did not stop there. As I grew older and stepped into teenage I learnt how everyone (mostly peers) decide your worth based on your looks. 

I struggled with all of this until I was about 17, I went through it all even when I was in junior college. I started looking for help online as I wasn't even aware of therapy or emotional help, I got to know a whole lot about body positivity and self love on the Internet, I learnt to love myself and practice ignorance towards negativity. I'm still learning and growing everyday, trying to make peace with the world outside and within me.

Not having self confidence puts you in a devious chain leading to a negative self image and depression, if not worked upon, keeps bottling up and creates negativity and toxicity within and around you. Here are a few things that worked out for me and are helping me cope with negative self image and low self esteem, hopefully this will help anyone out there dealing with the same things as well.

1) DISTANCE yourself from all the toxicity in your life : 

                                       

It could be your own classmates/friends/family/partner/siblings or anyone who you compare yourself with in an unhealthy way on social media. Cut off everything that makes you feel inferior, unhappy or worthless based on your physical appearances and lowers your self esteem. you don't need that in your life, at all! You're so much more than just what you weigh or how tall you are or what you look like.

2) Discard the negativity :

                                         

 clean your room, closet, study table, house, phone, laptop, mind, anything and everything that is cluttered. Cleaning is a form of therapy, clean environment around you is equal to clearer mind and thoughts.

3) Eat good food : FOOD=FUEL. 

                                       

 Be mindful towards your eating habits and appreciate the food you eat. I cannot stress enough on how important is it to have a healthy relationship with food as I have been on both sides of the coin, and trust me, I'd rather prefer the healthier side. Don't forget Water and how important it is. It keeps you hydrated, flushes out all the toxins right out your body & keeps your skin glowy. 

4) Practice Selfcare : 

                                       

This so ESSENTIAL, I cannot stress enough. Make a list of positive aphorisms and say them out loud everyday, create to-do and bucket lists, Maintain a bullet journal and track your habits, take care of your skin and body, sleep for 8+ hours, workout, take a break from social media, go on a hike, participate in extra-curricular activities. Spend time with yourself, go to a pretty café, grab a coffee and sit next to a window and admire the life outside. You could read, write, cook, paint, meditate, listen to music/podcasts, read a book, meet an old friend, take a long warm baths/shower, take a stroll early in the morning when everyone's sleeping and appreciate the nature, sing, dance! do anything that'll make you happy! 

Be kind to everyone, spend time with your favorite people and family, especially grandparents, they love you the most!!

Most Importantly, Love yourself and embrace your imperfections. You are Unique, beautiful and truly amazing! Don't let anyone tell you otherwise!! Remember that healthy=happy, no matter what the size of your body is. 

For someone going through it, I know one would think it's easy for someone to just write it on a piece of paper. But it isn't, I know it's hard to love yourself when the world tells you otherwise but trust me, A small step everyday, even if it doesn't seem much, it is going to add up to a better version of yourself.

Protect your peace, cleanse your space, get rid of toxicity and cultivate Kindness, Love, Empathy & Compassion.

Remember that, 

You'll never be criticized by someone who's doing more or better than you or someone who is simply happy. You'll always be criticized by someone who's doing less, criticism is merely a projection of their own insecurities in this case.

If you're going through depression or anxiety or even just having a rough time and need someone to talk to you can always reach out to me on my Instagram. 

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